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K

Mid-life crisis? Or just a chance to do what you always wanted?

Updated: Dec 8, 2023

I've been making changes in the last year - colouring my hair pink/red, getting a new tattoo, trying out eyebrow embroidery and eye lash extensions for the first time, buying a car - and even starting this blog! I started joking that I'm going through a mid-life crisis. But actually, I'm thinking of it now as more of a reset or rediscovery of who I am.


I've changed so much since I was a teenager and in my 20s - which is not a bad thing! People grow and change. But then I also think, maybe I've forgotten who I am. When we're younger, I feel like we have less labels and pressures than when we get older. As a teenager, I just thought about what I wanted to be in life - without the noise / concerns about money, mortgage, supporting a family... and then in my 20s, even though the reality of needing money and to plan for the future had settled in, I still felt I had the freedom and flexibility to try new things (as small as changing my style or picking up a hobby), or even making big changes (change career or move to a new country). The older I've gotten (now in my late 30s), and the further along I've gotten in my career, the more creature comforts I get used to, and the more responsibilities I have (children, mortgage, etc) - then the more doubts, second guessing and fears come in that hold me back.


These last few months, I've really been thinking - it's now or never! If I don't start making changes in my life now, then when will I do it? Life is never going to become uncomplicated - there's not necessarily a "perfect" time to start. There's always going to be a reason, fear, etc to hold me back. But screw it - I better start doing something, else I'm going to end up being on my death bed (hopefully decades from now) still grumbling about all the things I wanted to do, but never did.


I don't want to sound preachy, as I definitely haven't gotten all my sh*t together! But I hope this post encourages you to think about who you are outside of being a mum, wife, career woman...who are you? What do you want? Is there something you always wanted to try? Is there something you wish you'd done? Is there something you've had on your "wish" list but haven't actioned it yet? Sending you all positive energy and encouragement to do it!!


I've certainly not ticked off everything on my wish list - despite what I've said above, I know it's sometimes not that easy. Especially for the big changes or decisions. My biggest fear is trying and failing - as it doesn't just impact me, but would impact my family. But as someone once told me, why should not succeeding in the traditional sense (e.g. starting a business that doesn't financially do well), be seen as a failure? It's a success that you had the courage to try and that you learned something new - and you fed that part of you that's been dying to come out.


So let's all support each other to succeed together! It's not the outcome - it's the journey. Or as Miley Cyrus says - "it's the climb" (can't believe I just quoted Miley Cyrus!).



 

Some things I ticked off my wish list in the last year:

  • Cover up my old tattoo with something that represents me now (amazing bespoke tattoo from Catalyst Tattoo: https://www.instagram.com/catalysttattoosg/?hl=en)

  • New tattoo on my forearm (tired of hiding / not being able to see my tattoos) (again, thanks to Catalyst Tattoo for designing this tattoo for me - supposed represent taking a deep breath, and exhaling).

  • Holiday with just my husband, away from the Kids - awesome time to reconnect with my husband in Maldives

  • Start a blog to have a creative outlet (hello Way of K)

  • Have more fun with patterns and colours

  • Get my eyebrows embroidered and eye lash extensions - always wanted to try it (my 3 year old's reaction was to laugh and say "Mummy, what's on your eyebrows" Lol).

  • Colour my hair fun colours - used to like doing this when I was younger, and missed experimenting (thanks Felicia from Love Hair: https://www.instagram.com/lovehairsg/?hl=en)

  • Staycation with hubby and friends, without the kids (chance to have a laugh and sleep in!)

  • Scuba diving trip with my sister - with zero responsibilities.

  • Seeing a counsellor


Things still on my wish list to do:

  • Explore a new career in writing or editing.

  • Start my own business.

  • Start doing contemporary dance classes again.

  • Learn to drive (yep, I'm in my late 30s and never learned!).

  • Have a big night out with the friends - clubbing and dancing specifically!












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